Issue Section: Slightly Off Center

Another thing I didn’t do this year: Treasure your memories

I can’t remember many specific dates since March 15th and that’s okay. Turns out you really don’t look at the calendar so much as you feel your way through the year on the braille …

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Stephen King’s Groundhog Day

Maybe if we could start over and rebrand 2020 as the Corvid Pandademic it would seem cuter and tolerable. Who wouldn’t like to be overwhelmed with frolicking magpies and pandas? As …

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Phony: Remembrances of phone systems past.

Felt deeply sad at the end of the month as I watched the clock grind to midnight. With one eye on the phone and one on the clock I was waiting for the flat line of my land line. Af …

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That’s news to me: Print will go away

I’m far more concerned about journalism. I’ve debated abortion with evangelicals and politics with demons of all afflictions, but I have never seen the hate, sarcasm and shaming as …

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Masking: A survey of the mania

In these uncertain times, one thing we know for sure: People love tacos. The grand convergence of Taco Tuesday and Cinco de Mayo caused a drive- through/pickup gridlock around the …

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Numbers Game

New stats to track Every day is Groundhog Day for dogs. The same meal, the same treat, the same walk and the same complaining humans. The most amazing thing about dogs is that they …

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My Corona

Let Uncle Dennis tell you a bedtime fable. “Stop crying, Jimmy. I’ve done all the research and there is only a .001% chance of a monster coming out from under your bed to eat you; …

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Pleasures out of place

I’m experiencing mixed joy this week, but there is some twisted irony in knowing that the person who stole my credit card number used it to buy a home security system. I’m not comp …

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Unresolved: Predictions for the new Roaring Twenties

If I had made any, most of my New Year’s resolutions would be dust by now. Resolutions sound too certain when most of the world is mostly conflicted and unresolved. I’ll limit my n …

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Cold will bring us together

Utah winters generally last November through May, adjourning for a frenetic season of road construction. It’s that time of year when we alternately curse and exalt the four-letter …

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Meat your maker

Most days I do want to save most of the planet and most of the people residing on said orb, but there are so many choices. I’ve already made the biggest contribution to the planet’ …

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Countdown

It is an old but pertinent joke. Why is there is a highway to hell, but a stairway to heaven? That should tell you something about music, life, the afterlife and the state of humor …

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Thoughts while walking the dog

If this is such a great economy, why do we see so many young women who can’t afford pants without holes ripped in them? The young men seem to be able to afford belts now; I don’t s …

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Walking the walk

For most of my first six decades on this planet I routinely dismissed walking as some lesser form of exercise. I belittled even “jogging” because it seemed too recreational and sil …

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Love it & live it

The yuks come easy when someone says, “I’m going to X-place” and you say, “Oh I’m sorry.” Or you can always refer to your birth city as “A nice place to be from.” Completing the ru …

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