Issue Section: Slightly Off Center

Slightly Off Center

Why not? —by Dennis Hinkamp Why would anyone build a giant shark that you can drive around with 50 people in it? Why build a typewriter the size of a house or a temple that takes t …

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Slightly Off Center

The Age of Whatever: Applauding parents, however they came to be. —by Dennis Hinkamp The software is not yet coded to diagram the meandering and defoliated branches of my family tr …

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Slightly Off Center

Utah trip advisor. —by Dennis Hinkamp Dang you, Internet! I write a couple motel reviews for Trip Advisor and I am forever hounded with follow-ups and requests for more. So here is …

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Slightly Off Center

How to be less of a jerk. —by Dennis Hinkamp People often ask me where I get the ideas for columns. My stock answer is: “It’s easy—everything irritates me.” I take one thing and tr …

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Slightly Off Center

Dronie of Your Ownie. —by Dennis Hinkamp Have you always wanted to fly, and to be an innovator, a criminal and strict constitutionalist all at the same time? It’s easy; just fly a …

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Slightly Off Center

How long? –by Dennis Hinkamp Water heaters can be faithful employees of your home for 40 years, but I doubt you really appreciate this mundane effort. You replace them, you move o …

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Slightly Off Center

Contrary to unpopular beliefs. —by Dennis Hinkamp The unexamined life is not only worth living, it is better; so just gag on your hemlock, Socrates. And, actually there are two con …

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Slightly Off Center

Viper pit of humor. —by Dennis Hinkamp Although humor is said to be healing and a photo finish second to money as the most desired component of a lasting relationship, it’s hard to …

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Slightly Off Center

Miracle for a cynic. —by Dennis Hinkamp I don’t believe in miracles, karma, ghosts or half of what I read in the news. I am skeptical about skeptics. How­ever, I am not cynical eno …

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Slightly Off Center

The five kinds of non-Mormons.—by Dennis Hinkamp As I approach my 35th calendar year in UTopia I have taken to referring to myself as a Common Law Mormon. It’s an easy laugh but it …

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Slightly Off Center

Totally credible news.—by Dennis Hinkamp I love the news and, in fact, am a journalism graduate from a semi-famous university. I just find that most of it lacks imagination. So, he …

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Slightly Off Center

Funny you asked.—by Dennis Hinkamp This has never been explicitly designated a humor column; I just use that description to give myself license to lie, make stuff up and generally …

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Slightly Off Center

The future.—by Dennis Hinkamp The news headlines have been so depressing lately I’m thinking positive thoughts and focusing on a brighter future. This is the headline news I predic …

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Slightly Off Center: Love the Place You’re In

Guidelines to Living Local.—by Dennis Hinkamp The Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young song “Love the One You’re With” is, of course, really an ode to infidelity and casual sex shallowly …

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Slightly Off Center

Peacekeeping mission.—by Dennis Hinkamp I have a lot of reasons not to go home again. At age 12 I was robbed at knifepoint in the mid-afternoon at the baseball stadium. I got caugh …

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