A conversation with Money

By Carolynn Bottino

And now a word from your bookkeeper.

I had my first breakdown on Wed­nesday afternoon, March 25. I was sitting at my desk and this overwhelming sadness hit me as I read a simple email from one of my favorite bookkeeping clients:

“I have terminated everyone except our managers.”

The tears began to flow, and I couldn’t breathe. This sadness had been lingering just below the surface for about a week.

The breakdown wasn’t because of my own fear, although I did feel afraid. I felt a huge overwhelming wave of sadness for those around me, clients I have worked with for years on the verge of losing everything, and grief knowing what once was will never be the same again.

I have a confession to make. While I might be a bookkeeper on the surface, my intimate relationship with my clients and their money goes much, much deeper.

I am a money healer. I hold space for people and their money. I care for their businesses and their money as if it were my own, sharing in their successes and helping them strategize and overcome obstacles as they arise. Being an empath, I feel everything around me. Not just for myself, but for the people in my life and even the world around me. I feel the energy of my clients’ money.

I am now watching some of the most epic and horrific plot twists unfold within my clients’ businesses. It is safe to say I am on the frontline of the fear around money.

As I watch, I try to keep my own fear in check so I don’t get swept away. I feel the fear creeping up as I watch my clients make impossible decisions. Thoughts fly at me in a million directions all at once. If their businesses get swallowed up by the virus, the trickle-down effect will swallow mine up as well.

STOP. Breathe.

It’s all going to be ok.

How do I know this?

I have another confession to make: Money talks to me. Some of you might read this, roll your eyes, and think I’m crazy. And that’s ok. I am probably not for you. But for those of you who are intrigued, please keep reading because I have some very important messages about money to share.

As I was writing The Land of Plenty, a book about money empowerment, I would hike in the hills through my neighborhood each morning and listen to what the Universe had to say to me about money, and what should go into the book. About a week after my book was published, I came across Love Money, Money Loves You, by Sarah McCrum. The author asked money if it had anything to tell her, and apparently it did. She wrote 69 chapters channeling what money had to say.

As I read the first few pages, my jaw dropped. There was a very familiar voice. It was the voice of money. The same voice that had been talking to me as I wrote my book.

As the past weeks’ events have unfolded, money has been talking to me. A lot. And part of what it said to me is that I can’t stay quiet. I no longer can hide this gift, worried what people might think. So, consider this my coming out announcement.

What money is saying to me, really loudly, is that lots of people are suffering from fear and scarcity and they need to hear these messages now.

What money is saying to me

Well, quite a bit, but let’s start with a few highlights:

Now is the time for healing. This is the change we have been asking for. All that is untrue will fall away.

Greed comes from fear, fear comes from greed. It is time to stop this pattern. This was the quickest way to do so.

This is a time that will show people’s compassion. Compassion is what opens people’s hearts to see the light. There is nothing to fear around money. Compassion helps to regenerate money. The more you give, the more there is to spend, the more people are able to thrive.

Get silent and still and ask yourself, “How can I be of service?”  Money is the result of service.

“Money, what does the person reading this need to know right now?”

Stay calm, breathe.

Be of service.

The rest will fall into place.

Don’t be afraid.


The traditional way of making money may be coming to a close, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make money or will never have money again. It is ending the cycle to begin anew.

Focus on compassion and love and service.

Now is the time to reflect on what it means to be human. Be human. Be part of humanity. Humanity is good, and beautiful and full of love.

Now more than ever, look for the value that is coming to you. While actual money exchanging hands may be less, value will become more. You can’t contain what wants to be exchanged and grown and regenerated—you can’t contain nature. It will just look different and that’s ok.

What can you do right now?

One of the most powerful questions you can ask right now, for you and your money, is “how can I be of service?” This means both paid and not paid.

In the stillness, ask yourself where you can contribute to creating what will be the new normal.

If you have the resources, contribute funds to help small businesses struggling to keep their doors open—every little bit helps. Order takeout from restaurants. Sup­port your cherished local businesses and arts groups [and free media!].

Be kind and compassionate to others. Be kind and compassionate to yourself.

Let yourself experience the rollercoaster of emotions. If you start to feel shame and guilt around your money, cut yourself some slack; guilt and shame only create more fear.

Work on your money mindset—understand where the emotions you feel are coming from. Especially in times of crisis, some of these feelings might not even be yours. Are you feeling other people’s panic and fear?

Stories of compassion and people helping others can be a source of comfort and inspiration. Ask yourself, “What else is possible that I’ve  never imagined before?”

Sometimes by giving up control and letting things fall apart, you can open space for what is new and build the 2.0 version.

Allowing yourself to be ok with not knowing what comes next may provide the most spectacular and profound moments. It can be uncomfortable, but if you allow yourself to sit in this space, you can see the beauty and possibility around you.

Carolynn Bottino is the founder of the Money Empowerment Project and author of The Land of Plenty. Visit her at www.all-details.com.

This article was originally published on May 2, 2020.