December 27-January 2 — Is my flirter broken?

By Christopher Renstrom

My name is Evon. I was born 5/25/74 and the last year has been rather tumultuous, but I’m finally seeing the light of day. I’m feeling rather excited and hopeful in general. After my last relationship, I took a bit of time for self-reflection and healing. I’m now ready to get back on the dating scene. I have no interest in trolling the clubs to find a new guy, though, and would prefer to meet guys in a more natural setting. I’ve also found that lately my typical shyness is in overdrive. What’s the deal? Is my flirter broken? How can I get back into the swing of things now that I’m ready?

It isn’t easy getting back into the swing of things when you’ve been hurt, and you were wise to take a break. But it’s also important to remember that you’re a Gemini, an air sign, and air is the element that rules relationships in astrology. Too much time alone makes you stagnate. As an air sign, the best way to mend a broken heart is to be out and about and circulating again. Not everyone is built this way, but you are.

I don’t see any difficulties with your flirter being broken. Your ruling planet, Mercury in Gemini, shows that you can talk to anyone about anything and your Venus in Aries makes you a natural man magnet. But you’re right—trolling the clubs isn’t the way to go if you’re looking for something serious, and I don’t think that you would have much luck with those online dating sites either. One of the wonderful things that astrology teaches us is how to play to our strengths—especially when it comes to love. Like attracts like when it comes to the laws of attraction, and the best way to attract someone you would want to be with is by doing the things you love to do.

It’s really very simple: Make up a short-list of things you like to do and then go find a group of people to do them with. As a Gemini, you have a passion for learning, so enrolling in a class or signing up for a workshop would probably be the way to go. This puts you in the right headspace (and therefore the right heart space) to meet someone new. But don’t enter into this like a heat-seeking missile with your sights set on the most eligible guy in the room. The whole point of doing something with a group of people whom you don’t know—but who all share a common interest—is that it allows you to express yourself in ways you might not be able to around your friends or co-workers, and to talk about the topics you find fascinating. In a class you can sit next to someone you wouldn’t normally sit next to or meet people you wouldn’t typically meet (like your fellow student’s recently divorced brother). In any case this would certainly provide a much more natural setting for you to show off your smarts, beauty and talent—and for him to show off his.

This article was originally published on December 29, 2009.