December 20-26 — Soon to be Summer of Love

By Christopher Renstrom

My question is about my love life. It seems to wear me out. Always doubting love and looking for my true soul mate is exhausting. I am dating a man that I’m not sure is for me. I thought he was, but I feel like his mother. So is he? Birthdate: September 30, 1982. I do not have luck with men. I always say I enable them to be losers. My birthdate is June 19, 1974.

You two look pretty compatible, so it sounds like you’re having a bad day. This time of year, when the Sun is traveling through the opposite side of your horoscope, is never easy. It’s a time when spirits are down, your self-confidence is low and you’re vulnerable to feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. As you can imagine, it’s not the best headspace for making any big life decisions.

You were born with your ruling planet, Mercury, in Cancer. Cancer is the zodiac sign of the mother, so chances are you will always find yourself mothering men—regardless of whether they’re younger or older than you. This isn’t strange or unusual. We all play different roles in our love relationships—sometimes we’re the parent, sometimes we’re the child, sometimes we’re even the ex-spouse. Role-playing is the psyche’s way of soul mating, because without these labels (which mean different things to each of us), we wouldn’t be able to identify who or what we want in a partner. If you believe in reincarnation, then you know that the soul isn’t married to any single identity. The soul tries on lives the way that one tries on clothes while shopping. But it’s our memories in this life—along with our personal histories, tastes, desires, and values—that allow us to bond with another person. However, you always run the risk of getting stuck in a role or typecasting your lover in a part that he’s outgrown. It’s by embracing the spirit of growth and change that we create a fulfilling life together.

I don’t think that you’re unlucky in love, nor do I think that you go out with losers. I do, however, believe that you’ve hit a wall in your relationships with men and that you want to break on through to the other side. In order to do this, though, you’re going to have to ask yourself two things. First—how much do you really listen to your partner? And second—how much do you truly respect him? When you have Saturn next to your ruling planet in your horoscope, there’s a tendency to believe that you’re the one who does all the work in a relationship—and it’s simply not true. I feel like this summer will be an eye-opening experience. In the summer of 2010, Jupiter and Uranus will form an opposition to Pluto in Libra in your horoscope. Libra is the zodiac sign of relationships, and I suspect that what might prove to be the biggest revelation of all is how this fellow stuck around despite all of your attempts to push him away. And that, in and of itself, will be food for thought.

This article was originally published on December 20, 2009.