Regulars and Shorts

Ask the Swami: From deep rest to cash flow…

By Steve Bhaerman

Where Swami answers your questions and you question his answers.
by Swami Beyondananda

 

The best antidote to global warming is global heartwarming.
-Swami Beyondananda

Dear Swami:
I am in so much distress about the current economic situation that I can’t sleep at night, and frankly I seem to be experiencing depression, interspersed with episodes of anger. For the first time in my life, I am considering seeing a therapist. Yes, I know. There are certain aspects of the economic crisis that are out of my control. However, I do very much respect your wise perspective. Do I need to see a shrink? Is there something else I can do to reduce the stress? And do you have any other financial advice?
Bill Zardue,
Xenia, Ohio

Dear Bill:
I can understand how stressed you must feel, and let’s face it-stress can be stressful. I cannot stress enough how stressful stress can be. And since there is a strong relationship between society at large and society at small, it is understandable that during an economic depression one might get depressed over the economy. But just because there is toxic news out there doesn’t mean you have to take it poisonally. You just need to shift your perspective, ever so slightly. Next time you hear your inner voice saying, “I feel depressed,” just change the emphasis to a different syllable. Say, “I feel deep rest.” Say that enough, and before long you will feel deeply rested.

As for seeking help for economic depression (or as it is known clinically, CFD-Cash Flow Deficiency), instead of paying big bucks to shrink your head, try saving money by shrinking your overhead instead. A leading cause of Cash Flow Deficiency is a related affliction, Deficit Inattention Disorder, characterized by the belief, “I must have money in my account, because-look, I still have blank checks in my checkbook.” Deficit Inattention Disorder sufferers cannot resist a good buy. A good buy here, and a good buy there… and pretty soon, it’s good-bye money.

Regarding your episodes of anger, it is perfectly natural for those with Deficit Inattention Disorder and Cash Flow Deficiency to see red. So, since you have asked for my advice -a sure sign of someone in trouble -I will give it. Sell or give away anything you don’t want, don’t love, or don’t need. Stay liquid. For the one undeniable truth in these paradoxical economic times is, the more liquid you are, the more solid you will feel.

Dear Swami:
I’m a bit confused. Sometimes I think you are being wise, other times it seems like you’re being a wise guy. Are you a real swami? And what is a “swami,” anyway?
Alice Klarr,
Greeley, Colorado

Dear Alice:
First of all, let’s handle the question of my being a real swami. This morning, I pinched myself and sure enough-I am real!
As for your other questions, what you really want to know is, am I a wise guy disguised as a wiseguy-or a wiseguy in a wise guy guise? The answer is an unequivocal yes to both questions.

Next question, what is a swami? A swami is one who has mastered him or herself. Naturally, that means I am highly qualified as a swami. After all, who could possibly be a better me than I could? I was literally made for the job! And when it comes to being your self, so were you. After all, each of us is totally unique, just like everybody else.
As far as I’m concerned, Oscar Wilde said it best: “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.”

Dear Swami:
I’ve been hearing a lot about magnetic healing lately. Have you ever tried it, and do you think it works?
Candace B. Wright,
Huntsville, Alabama

Dear Candace:
Does it work? Are you kidding? It sure does! I had a magnetic healing session about a month ago, and I was stuck to my refrigerator for three days

© Copyright 2009 by Steve Bhaerman. www.wakeuplaughing.com

This article was originally published on May 29, 2009.