Ask the Astrologer Weekly Question: Is an unknown blockage keeping me from finding love?

By Christopher Renstrom

I am 60. I have been single forever. I have always felt that I would rather be alone than to be with someone just for the sake of having someone. Is there some unknown to me blockage that prevents me from finding my man? I have had dates here and there and although these men are good and nice and decent, I just don’t feel the spark that makes me want to see them again. I am fiercely independent and most of the time I have no problem being alone. What is my problem? Or is there a problem? My birth date is December 1, 1949.

I don’t think you have a problem with being alone. You were born under the fiercely independent sign of Sagittarius. Sagittarius is a fire sign which means that you value your freedom more than anything else. Fire is the element of spirit in Astrology, so being who you are—which includes doing what you please and going where you want to go—is very important. You are ruled by your enthusiasms, your beliefs, and your love of adventure. You want to be open to whatever happens in life and you are always looking to broaden your horizons.

You are not going to change any of this for the sake of being with someone. I think you’ve spent enough years on the planet to know that that’s a zero-sum game. Moreover you were born with your Ruling Planet Jupiter in the zodiac sign of Aquarius. Like Sagittarius, Aquarius is a freedom-loving, independent-thinking sign. This heightens the roving tendencies that are already inherent in your birth planet. It also tells me that you may be more comfortable doing things in a group. You enjoy the company of friends and are always on the lookout for meeting like-minded people. The more challenging area for you is one-on-one relationships. Now you may say it’s because you don’t want anyone bringing you down or that you even get bored easily, but Children of Jupiter have problems with intimacy. Part of this stems from the fact that Jupiter’s Children are notoriously restless and part of it comes from the fact that you believe that you can always do better.

You can be with someone without feeling like you have to sign away your life. My suspicion is that you went through a rough passage a few years ago (between 2007 and 2009 maybe?) and that it’s made you skittish. The partner thing can get pretty heavy with all of its expectations and baggage, however being friends with men (and I do mean plural) allows you to enjoy their company and to be who you are at the same time. If you approach men from a friendship place—rather than a romantic interest place—then I think you’ll find that they’re a lot more fun. And if anything develops—like it could in the spring of 2011—then it would evolve organically. The best relationship comes from two people who want to be together and not from two people who feel like they have to be together. These are relationships borne out people who truly enjoy one another’s company and who want the best for each other.

This article was originally published on September 5, 2010.