Ask the Astrologer: Low sex drive, or something more?

By Christopher Renstrom

I have been with my boyfriend for two years. Our problem stems from what he calls a “low sex drive.” I feel that this is actually reflective of something deeper. He says that he sees a future for us, but his actions say he’s bored. We are taking a break. His birthday is 12/4/1967 and mine is 3/1/1980. Is this the end of our time together or should we seek counseling and try to work through this?

Astrologically speaking you and your boyfriend are compatible. The strongest pairings in Astrology are between people born in the same month or between people born under the same Ruling Planet. You and your boyfriend are both Children of Jupiter. Jupiter rules the zodiac signs Sagittarius and Pisces. Moreover you were both born with your Ruling Planet Jupiter in Virgo and in an almost perfect conjunction. Your boyfriend’s Jupiter is at 5 degrees Virgo whereas yours is at 4 degrees Virgo. This strengthens the bond between you and shows a willingness to work on things to improve your relationship. Virgo is pretty gung-how when it comes to self-improvement.

Yet there are some factors at play. The first is that your boyfriend was born with Saturn retrograde in Aries. Aries is the zodiac sign of passion and Saturn, the planet of tests, could definitely act like a cosmic dampener—especially when your boyfriend’s Saturn is being squared by Pluto like it is now. This square will loosen up later in the year, but right now it’s going to act like a muscle cramp in your boyfriend’s horoscope. It can choke off the passion energy and send it underground. The Saturn/Pluto square also points to the way that your boyfriend manages his stress levels vis-à-vis work. My sense is that this is what’s stealing a lot of his focus now.

You were born with Jupiter in Virgo. You were also born with Mars conjunct Jupiter in Virgo and both planets are retrograde in your horoscope. This indicates that the “low sex drive” issue with men isn’t new. I imagine that you’ve dealt with something similar before. But I don’t think that this is a sex problem per se. The Mars and Jupiter retrograde conjunction could describe an attraction to men who are workaholics, who start out hot then turn cold, or men who never seem to really close the deal romance-wise. These retrograde planets in Virgo point to men who have difficulty feeling like they’re manly men—mostly because men with Jupiter in Virgo tend to do a lot of worrying and can get preoccupied. The Mars and Jupiter retrograde in your horoscope essentially says that you understand this type of fellow—which is why they’re attracted to you. They know instinctively that you can help them through this.

I would advise counseling because I think you have a future together. You’re undergoing a shift this year with Jupiter in Aries and Neptune entering Pisces on April 4, 2011. The change in planetary temperaments will do a lot to revive the bond you share with your boyfriend and to rekindle what’s been missing. I would hate to see you miss out on that just when you’re both getting ready to turn over a new leaf.

This article was originally published on March 16, 2011.