Ask the Astrologer: Learn how to friend a guy

By Christopher Renstrom

I’m a Virgo born on September 20, 1991. There was this guy named Alex born on January 14, 1992. I’ve had a really up and down friendship/fling with him for about the past four months now. I feel like it’s finally coming to an end, but the last time I thought we’d never talk again, we ended up talking again after a couple weeks. So here’s the question: What is the purpose of him being in my life? I guess what I mean is: Is he supposed to stay in my life or is he supposed to teach me something and then go away? How do these two signs generally end up?

I think Alex is in your life to teach you how to friend a guy. This is a lot harder than it looks—especially when a guy says that he wants to be friends but doesn’t act like it.

You take friendship very seriously. The fling-thing can come or go as far as you’re concerned, but how someone acts as a friend—like can you rely on him or not? Well, that’s the thing that matters most to you. It sounds to me like Alex isn’t doing very well with this, and it’s probably because the lines got blurred in the friendship versus romance departments. When something like this happens, things totally change as far as a Capricorn is concerned.

As a Virgo you can go back and forth without too much of a problem. If things don’t transition easily into romance, you can go back to being friends. It’s not a big deal. These are just labels, after all, and labels can be changed. But a Virgo’s relationship to labels isn’t the same as a Capricorn’s. For Alex, you have now become associated with being a “responsibility.” That’s because Saturn rules Capricorn and Saturn tends to see the world in terms of heavy obligations and expectations that are always being heaped on their shoulders. He probably thinks that you want all of these things from him. It sounds to me like you’d rather just have your friend back.

If this is the case, tell him. He won’t believe you at first (Capricorns never think problems can be solved that easily), but he’ll figure it out eventually. As for romance? Well, Alex may talk a good game, but you’re the one who comes across in her horoscope as being more mature and grounded, which makes me think that Alex doesn’t make very good boyfriend material now. Maybe in five years, but not now. Nevertheless I think he’s a worthy friend, because he really is a good guy. You can learn a lot about the way men think and feel by hanging out with him. Alex could also use a good friend. He looks like he doesn’t really let people in, but you know how to talk to him. You two look like you really enjoy each other’s company, so it would be a shame to lose the friendship just because things didn’t gel romantically.

This article was originally published on February 22, 2011.