Ask an Astrologer: March 2010
Opposites attract—but that’s not necessarily a good thing…
by Christopher Renstrom
For the past 15 years I have been involved in a sometimes passionate, other times difficult, now long-distance relationship. There is an age difference, which took awhile to overcome, but once accomplished, life was easy. I really feel there is a cosmic connection for this friendship/love affair. Each time we experience difficulties, I vow to let it go, but there is some inherent tie that doesn’t let me move on. I am very anxious to know if you see anything that prevents me from ending this, or if we are bound by some other entity. Me: January 14, 1949; Him: August 7, 1971.
The most challenging (and dramatic) relationships in astrology are between people who are born in opposite times of year—that is, anyone whose birthday is six months away from yours. It’s true that opposites attract, but that doesn’t always mean that they will stay together. Opposite sign pairings often show up in extra-marital affairs (re: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie), love triangles, long-distance relationships and other “questionable” matches. There is always something vaguely scandalous or sensational about them, which is why they get a lot of press in astrology books. However, they don’t always translate comfortably into setting up house and home together.
Think of an opposite sign pairing as two people sitting on a seesaw. Whenever one of you is up, the other one is down, and vice-versa. For instance, you’re going to feel revitalized and strengthened during the time of year when the Sun is in Capricorn, because Capricorn is your birth sign. Winter is when you are “in season” and feel most empowered. Leos (your boyfriend’s sign), however, are “out of season” in winter. Winter is when the Sun’s energy is weakest, so he’s apt to feel lost, insecure and overwhelmed. What this means is that during the time of year when you’re feeling up, he’s feeling down and when he’s feeling gung-ho (in the summer) you’re feeling the most out-of-sorts. It’s an important thing to keep in mind, since opposite sign relationships experience these ups and downs like clockwork every six months.
There are several planetary factors that draw you to each other, but the most powerful one is that his Sun conjoins your Pluto in Leo. This can create an obsessive/compulsive dynamic between your horoscopes, which is why it’s been so hard for you to let go. This energy could be channeled into something more positive and transformative if Pluto were your ruling planet, but it’s not. Your ruling planet is Saturn, which means you want something more stable in your life. My feeling is that you’ve wanted to end the relationship for about a year but it’s a decision that you’ve felt unable to make. Thankfully, Mars comes out of retrograde on March 10, 2010 and will pass over the Sun and Pluto conjunction on May 9, thereby freeing you from this dynamic and allowing you to move on. Ultimately you’ll be happier settling down with someone who sits closer to you on the zodiacal wheel, so keep your eyes open for an Aquarius or a Sagittarius in June.